Looking back, August had a lot of unfinished things in it. The yard is still unfinished. Handcrafted Adventure is still something I’m figuring out. There are things I want that I don’t know exactly how to get yet, and things I’ve stopped wanting enough to keep giving them my time.
Apparently I spent a good part of the month writing about that. We took a trip without trying to fill every hour, stopped trying to solve the whole backyard at once, and I read four books that made me question how much certainty we really need before we begin. I also spent a lot of time thinking about when something is worth continuing, when it isn’t, and how much of the future we really need to know before choosing what to do next.
August ended with both of our birthdays and a new way of looking at the year ahead.
Here’s what August looked like.
Where We Went
Tom, Sam and I spent a long weekend in Springfield, Missouri. We rode through Fantastic Caverns on a Jeep-drawn tram, spent an evening at an arcade full of games from the ’80s, ate an enormous burger we couldn’t finish, and spent most of Sunday morning wandering through Wonders of Wildlife. I also discovered that despite not playing Ms. Pac-Man in decades, forty-year-old muscle memory is apparently a thing. I got the high score twice.
We had other possibilities on our list — mini golf, a Japanese garden, the zoo — and did none of them. Both afternoons, we went back to the hotel and rested. We swam once, ordered room service and watched a movie Sunday night, and when a storm was coming Monday morning, we ate breakfast and headed home. Nobody felt like we’d missed anything.
I’m getting better at planning the things we’d be disappointed not to do and leaving some room around them.
Our Springfield, Missouri Weekend: Underground, Underwater & Back to the ’80s
What We Stopped Trying to Finish
Our backyard has been one very large experiment since we moved in. When the honeysuckle was cleared from the back hillside, I immediately wanted to know what the finished version should look like, but we didn’t know enough to answer that.
This year we stopped trying to solve the whole thing at once. We’re working on one section, watching what happens and learning as we go. There are still enormous parts we haven’t touched, but that doesn’t bother me much anymore.
We Stopped Trying to Finish the Yard
Two Decisions I’ve Been Thinking About
Two posts this month ended up sitting on opposite sides of the same question.
First I wrote about quitting.
I’ve stayed with things because I’d already spent time, money or effort on them, even after I knew I didn’t want to keep doing them.
The question I wish I’d asked sooner was simple:
If I weren’t already doing this, would I choose it today?
Later in the month, I wrote about the opposite problem — what happens when something gets harder than you expected and the answer is still yes.
Radiology school was that for me.
Stopping and continuing can look like opposite decisions, but both require paying attention to what you know now instead of automatically following the decision you made before.
How to Know When It’s Time to Quit Something
How to Know If a Goal Is Worth Pursuing — and What It Will Cost You
What I’m Reading
This month’s four books accidentally continued the theme.
Designing Your Life. Working Identity. Range. The Pathless Path.
I didn’t choose them because they belonged together. Somewhere around the third book, I realized they were all pushing against an assumption I’ve carried for years: that you should know where you’re going before you start.
Finding Direction in Life: 4 Books for When You Don’t Know What’s Next
One More Thing I’m Trying to Use Less Of
Mental energy on decisions that don’t deserve much of it.
August started with a post about decision fatigue — all the tiny choices that manage to take more thought than they should. What’s for dinner? When should we do this? Where should we go? Which one should I buy?
Tom and I have been finding small ways to stop making the same low-value decisions over and over. I’d rather save that attention for the ones that can change what happens next, like whether I still want the thing I’m working toward.
Or whether the next section of the yard really needs another hydrangea. It probably does.
Decision Fatigue: Why You’re Tired of Making Choices — and How to Take Back Control
From 59 to 60
August ended with Tom’s birthday and mine, and next year I turn 60. I’ve been thinking differently about the year between this birthday and the next one, enough that I changed how I’m keeping my calendar.
I don’t have a “59 things before 60” list. I’m more interested in what I’d like to be different by next August and whether the way I’m using ordinary weeks is moving me toward it.
From Birthday to Birthday: What Do You Want to Change Before the Next One?
Thanks for spending August with us.
July was about doing things while I was still afraid and unsure. August seems to have been more about what happens after you begin — when to keep going, when to change your mind and how much you really need to know before taking the next step rather than the whole plan.
Krista
Handcrafted Adventure